Saturday 10 October 2009

I appear to have turned into Victor Meldrew

The local council just seems to have that effect on me...

Dog Control Orders Questionnaire

Do you have any comments on the proposed implementation of Dog Control Orders for dog fouling?
I agree with voluntary controls in areas such as footpaths, car parks and recreation grounds, where steaming piles of faeces are clearly offensive and potentially hazardous. And there are undoubtedly some ignorant selfish people about who will ignore any efforts to persuade them to behave decently. But I am strongly opposed to the growing level of interfering busybodying dogooding nannying and general bossing about, which is reducing this once proud nation into a gaggle of squealing infants who are incapable of taking responsibility for their own lives. The day you install cctv to watch me clear up my dog's mess, I shall emigrate. This is not what I pay my council tax for. Actually I sometimes wonder why I do...

Do you have any comments on the proposed implementation of Dog Control Orders for keeping dogs on leads?
Yes, it's a disgrace. You'll be introducing an order to make me eat my greens and wash behind my ears next. I don't pay council tax so you can employ some irritating twerp to lecture me about how to look after my dog. I thought there was a recession on. What on earth are you doing spending money on Stalinist nonsense like this? Responsible dog owners are responsible and should be left alone. Irresponsible ones will ignore your efforts. And I'll foot the bill. If you've got (my) money to throw around, employ a poo picker upper and make life nicer for all of us.

Do you have any comments on the proposed implementation of Dog Control Orders regarding dog exclusion?
A nice sign 'No dogs please' would be entirely appropriate. You could even explain why: 'Nightjars nesting', or whatever. While you're at it, perhaps you could teach the foxes not to crap on the recreation grounds and in my garden. Or is their poo ok because they're wildlife? It doesn't smell ok.

Do you have any comments on the proposed implementation of Dog Control Orders regarding the number of dogs that any one person is permitted to walk at any one time?
Why? What is it with the wanting to ban things? Would it suit you better if we all just stayed inside and watched tv, taking time out now and again to sort our rubbish into different bins? Remind me, do you work for me, or is it the other way round?

Other comments on the introduction of Dog Control Orders in Elmbridge
What's really sad is that you will get huge numbers of people supporting this disgraceful attack on liberty. Boudicea would have known how to deal with it.

If you want to join the Leisure and Cultural Services mailing list and keep up to date with local countryside events & news, children's activities, walking, healthy lifestyles or art and cultural activities in Elmbridge, please give your details below. Your details will not be passed onto third parties.
Hah! no thanks. If you start lecturing me about a healthy lifestyle, I will be forced to kill myself. Right-o, I'm off to have a whisky and a fag.


Meconopsis said...

Whisky and fag later now looking for a home in the South of France even though there can be frog problems in the countryside ! I cant stand frogs hopping about from left to right all the time. Also looking at Canada but there are lots of frogs over there also :-(

Meconopsis said...

I had to do a paper thing like this 2 years ago re the Agricultural whatever !!! one question was ! Do you think there are enough benches in the countryside to sit on ? !! another question was how do you think your answers will affect ethnic minorities !!!

The Suburban Bushwacker said...

How did we get into this mess? was there a moment where we collectively took leave of our senses? what can we do to get back to some semblance of sensible?
The only thing i can think of is slapping my own forehead and shouting 'I don't believe it".

vicky said...

Dog control orders are nasty things. Yes, I firmly believe we should all poo pick; yes, I believe dogs should be under control (note that doesn't always mean on a lead) in parks and public places, and yes, I think there should be some small areas of public ground where dogs are banned so those who are scared by them can relax. But banning dogs from cemeteries? How is it fair to stop a widow visiting her husbands grave with his beloved dog? How is it fair to ban dogs from vast stretches of beach all summer when the humans congegrate on the small areas near the icecream stalls and the beach is littered with far more dangerous waste than a dog turd? GRRRRRRRR employ some dog wardens to catch the bad guys and leave the rest of us alone. GRRRRUMPY OLD WOMAN!
On a positive note, Bexhill tried to put in place some very anti-dog dog control order but a huge petition and a well amnnered dog walk to the town hall put an end to it.