...get even. Some little scrote got a catapult for Christmas - and is now driving round the neighbourhood in the early hours of the morning firing stones through people's car windscreens.
Along with several of our neighbours, my wife's car had its rear screen shot through last night. Autoglass - the people who offer a 24/7 emergency service - can't possibly do anything about it until Tuesday. And Tesco insurance, who are never backwards in upping the premium, cheerfully inform us that there will be a £75 excess to pay - after half an hour hanging on the 0845 line being reminded how very important our call is to them.
The cops were more interested in any possible racial implications - what colour were we, did we think there might be a racial motive. Still, they filled in the forms very comprehensively with my wife's job title and date of birth. Cos that'll help. And our details will be passed to Victim Support. I expect they'll write her a nice letter. If only they put that much effort into patrolling the streets...
Anyhow, in the absence of any constructive help from the people funded by my taxes, I thought perhaps I could apply a bit of specialist shooting knowledge to the problem. After all, a couple of lowlifes in a hot hatch can't be so different from a marauding fox.
Don't panic, I'm not reaching for the .243, tempting though it might be. But I have set up the Deben ProStalk trail camera overlooking the front of the house.
And I'm wondering where best to wait up - in the bedroom overlooking the street (where it will be nice and warm), or in a vehicle down the road, where I'll get a better view of their numberplate.